"You are Special"

             Wow, it’s hard to believe I’ve been back in La Paz for three weeks and that we’ve already had two weeks with our kiddos. There have already been a lot of ups and downs, but God has been teaching/reminding me of something SO important that I began to lose sight of amidst the craziness of moving back to Bolivia for a second year, getting a classroom together in five days, and diving right into a new school year.

            At the beginning of each year, I make sure to stress with my kindergarteners that we are all unique, different, and special, and that our uniqueness is something to celebrate. Entering into my 4^th year of teaching, one thing remains a constant…when my students first meet me, curiosity takes over and they stare and comment about my arm. When I first started my practicums in classrooms during college and during student teaching, sometimes I would get bummed that the first thing students noticed about me when they met me was that I looked different or “weird” as many would say because of my arm. I just wanted people, especially my students, to see me for me initially and not as “weird” or “different” because of my physical abnormality.

            However, I learned at a very young age that “God made me like this for a reason”, as my dad told me so simply when I came home from school crying uncontrollably one day when I was in kindergarten because older kids on the bus were making fun of me for looking different. My dad’s simply put, but deep meaning words of TRUTH, changed my heart that day and filled me with such love that has never left or failed me and never will. I realized the love of my Creator at that moment, only six years old.

            My dad went on to say that I would one day see why God made me the way He did. It has taken me years and years to begin to grasp and get a glimpse of God’s great plan. During tennis season my senior year of college, a fellow student, who wrote for The Andersonian (our college newspaper), asked if she could do an article about me for the sports section. I was surprised and wondered why she wanted to interview me. After all, I was a decent tennis player, but far from the best. During the interview, she asked about my tennis career and how I was able to overcome adversity to become a good tennis player, etc. It made me think back to things in my past that, honestly, I had tried to forget. I definitely took after my big brother when I was little and played every little league sport I could (baseball, soccer, etc.). I loved playing sports. However, just like many things in my life, the road was far from easy.

            When I was in 4^th grade, my dad asked if I would like to take tennis lessons. I was so excited about trying out a new sport and immediately said yes. My parents began talking to tennis instructors in the area and as my dad told me years later, many instructors refused to teach me because they felt that there was no way I’d be able to play with my arm. Finally, one instructor gladly welcomed me to his tennis academy. I will never forget Mr. Sinclair and his belief in me. He saw my determination, athleticism, and “refuse to give up” attitude, and instantly saw the potential in me. He never once doubted me or treated me any differently from the other kids. Just like my parents, he made me feel like I could do anything I put my mind to, physical abnormality or not. He taught me that all that mattered was my attitude and he could not have been more right. ATTITUDE is the key to most situations in life, and in my case, it was crucial to have the right attitude so that I did not just give up when things were difficult, which was often. So thankful for Mr. Sinclair and his willingness to take me under his wing when the majority of the instructors gave up on me before they even met me.  He’s one of the people who helped mold me into the person I am today and made an impact that will last a lifetime…simply by believing in me and teaching me how to believe in myself even against adversity and all the odds that were stacked against me.

           

            During one of my high school tennis matches, I learned after the match that the coach of the other team had said to my opponent, upon seeing me, that she should have no trouble beating me. I can’t remember the exact score, but it seems like I beat her 6-0, 6-1. Needless to say, I think that the coach learned a lesson that night and I hope he never judges a book by its cover again. I’m glad I didn’t know about his ignorant words before the match and just went out on the court and played my best. I was disheartened to say the least that a grown man would judge me and count me out after one look, but I’m glad that by just doing my best and not letting my arm hold me back, I was able to show him without a word that people can overcome and accomplish seemingly impossible things. My hope is that next time he will be slower to judge and quicker to think the best of people. That it really is about the heart of a person, not what they look like physically.

            People of all ages and walks of life have told me that I am an inspiration to them for one reason or another. Honestly, I have never strived to draw attention to myself or my accomplishments through adversity; I simply realized at a young age that I had two choices. I could pity myself and go through life telling myself that there was no point to try because I would probably fail, or I could believe in myself, have a positive outlook on life, and try my best in everything I put my mind to, even when failure was sometimes inevitable. Through this approach to life, I have inspired people along the way and I give all the glory to God for that. He is the One who sustains me and give me the wisdom and strength to keep persevering.

            As I mentioned earlier, at the beginning of each school year, I discuss how every one of us is unique and that we should celebrate our differences. The kids are very curious and sometimes even nervous about my arm. I show the clip from Finding Nemo where the other students tell Nemo that his little fin looks weird, Nemo’s dad says that he was born that way and they call it his lucky fin, and then the other kids say what makes them different. (I love when the seahorse says, “I’m obnoxious.”) J It’s so neat how my students seem to feel more comfortable after seeing the clip because they all love Nemo and realize that he had a little fin that makes him look different just like I have an arm that looks different. After that, they are more accepting and willing to ask questions!

            After a quarter of a century, I’ve finally come to view my arm as a blessing, not a burden. God uses the intricate way He made me to share His love and who He is through me. What a blessing that I can use my arm to teach young, impressionable 4, 5, & 6 year olds about how to celebrate our differences and how to encourage people in their differences instead of making them feel unworthy or unaccepted. I don’t want any of my students to grow up and have the same mindset of the tennis coach who judged my ability to play tennis after one look at me. I want them to love others as God has called us to do and I pray every year that God will use my experiences and the adversity I’ve faced to teach and guide them in loving, not judging others. God made us in His image and everything God makes/does is perfect and special.

             Now, teaching at a Christian school, I can take it a step further and openly share how God made us in His image and how He made each of us special. Last week I read the book You are Special by Max Lucado. Even though it is technically a children’s book, I would HIGHLY recommend anyone to read it if you haven’t. I read it last year to my students as well, but this year I was overcome with such strong emotions and almost teared up while reading it to my kiddos. The story is about a village of wooden people called Wemmicks and the woodworker who created them, Eli. The Wemmicks walk around giving each other dot stickers or star stickers. The beautiful, talented Wemmicks receive stars and the scratched, ugly, talentless Wemmicks receive dots. One of the Wemmicks who always receives dot stickers, Punchinello, is so sad and lonely. One day he meets a Wemmick named Lucia, who has no stickers because she doesn’t let what the others think of her matter, so the stickers just fall off. She tells Punchinello that she goes to see Eli every day and encourages him to go visit Eli.

Punchinello visits Eli and asks why the stickers don’t stick on Lucia. Eli says, “Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them. The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about their stickers.”

Punchinello says he doesn’t understand and Eli responds, “You will, but it will take time. You’ve got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care.”

As Punchinello leaves, Eli says, “Remember, you are special because I made you. And I don’t make mistakes.” Punchinello believes in his heart that Eli really means it and a dot falls to the ground.

            The past few weeks, I’ve let the chaos, transition, and stress cause me to doubt my abilities and worthiness. Living, working, and doing life in the mission field comes with much spiritual warfare. The Enemy has been trying to get a foothold and discourage me with thoughts that I am not good enough…not worthy…not as beautiful, smart, good as others around me. All of which I know are lies from the Enemy, but are hard to resist sometimes. Reading You are Special helped snap me out of that web of lies and reminded me of the truth: I am special. I am worthy. I am beautiful. I am smart. I am loved. I am not alone.  And if I make time for my Creator, to really talk to Him and go to Him EVERY day, He will not let me forget these TRUTHS. He made us and He does NOT make mistakes. Hallelujah!

As David says in Psalm 139:1-14,

“Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away. You observe my travels and my rest; You are aware of all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, LORD. You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me. This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it. Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there. If I live at the eastern horizon or settle at the western limits, even there Your hand will lead me; Your right hand will hold on to me. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light around me will become night’- even the darkness is not dark to You. The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to You. For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.”

Thanks for taking time to read this lengthy post!

Love,

Kate

P.S. Here are my sweet kiddos and the fun picture frames we made after reading the story to hang up in our room. :)