On Mondays,
my roommate, Jill, and I lead an 11th grade girls’ discipleship
group. Our last study was incredible. The girls had great questions, which led
to in-depth discussions. One such question was, “Why do bad things happen?”
Throughout my life, this question of “Why?” has often crept into my mind. Such
a simple, one-word question, yet so complex and can begin to spread like poison
in our minds if we let it. When this question was asked, I felt my heart begin
to beat a little faster and felt led to share my experiences and struggles with
this question and let God speak through me. This question has occupied my mind
many times:
“Why was I born with three fingers and a frozen elbow on my
right arm?”
“Why did I have to go through my childhood constantly being
made fun of, stared at, and having to question how some people could be so
insensitive and sometimes even cruel?”
“Why did my five year relationship with my “high school
sweetheart” have to end in such a heartbreaking, unnecessarily painful way?”
“Why was my dad diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and
had to endure two rounds of chemotherapy?”
“Why did my
grandmother pass away so suddenly last April?”
I’ve
learned that, if permitted, this simple question can fester in our minds and
eventually begin to harden our hearts.
My Creator,
my Comforter, my Savior, has always, is always, and will always be the answer
to this often times poisonous question. When I enter the valley of darkness
that this question can lead me to, God simply takes my hand and with such
patience, faithfulness, and love, leads me back to the light of His presence
where I find comfort, peace, and shelter from the questions and insecurity that
stem from dwelling on this simple, three letter word which the enemy so
desperately wants me to dwell on so I become blind to the blessings and wonders
all around me.
But God has
had and continues to have an amazing, divine plan for my life as He does for
all of us. He has conditioned me to simply trust in His holy plan, especially
through the darkest of valleys, because that is when he has truly molded and
shaped me into the person I am today with a heart to follow Him.
Through
God’s Word and my relationship with Him, my eyes have been opened to the
blessings that have come from these dark places. My dad’s utter faith and
positive attitude through his nearly ten-year battle with cancer has made such
an incredible impact and inspired all those around him and those he comes in
contact with. My Grandma El lived such a long, wonderful life loving those
around her and serving her Lord. Just as in life, she impacted and continues to
inspire so many with her story even as she left her earthly life to go
Home. What a blessing it is that she is
no longer in pain, but is rejoicing and dancing in Heaven with her Savior. Through
such heartbreak and pain that ending a five year relationship brings,
especially under difficult circumstances, I rejoice in the ending of that
chapter of my life because it taught me so much and with its end, I became
fully free to follow God’s will in my life, which has led me to this amazing
journey here in La Paz!
Lastly, the blessings that have
stemmed from such a seemingly horrible thing as being born with a “deformed”
arm continue to amaze me daily. When I was in kindergarten, I came home from
school one day in tears because some older kids were making fun of my arm. My
dad looked at me and simply said, “Kate, God made you like this for a reason
and one day you will understand why.” Those words never left me and now I can fully
understand the truth behind them. When people ask me about my arm, the thing I
want them to understand is that I don’t view it as a burden, but a blessing. It
has taught me how to love ALL people with great empathy, compassion, and love.
It has made me a person with such determination that I refuse to let anything
hold me back or to be told that something isn’t possible. I am able to help my students
learn that we are all unique and how to treat people who look “different”. At
the beginning of the year, I show a clip from Finding Nemo when Nemo’s friends
ask him why he has a little fin. Then, they go on to point out something that’s
different about themselves. I love how my students begin to think of my arm as “normal”
and get upset when other students say that my arm looks weird. It’s amazing how
God can use my arm to help not only my kiddos, but also all those around me
learn how to truly accept people, differences and all!
So, with
all that said, I don’t have the answer to the question “Why do bad things
happen?” and I don’t think I ever will until I meet my Maker. What I do know is
that we live in a fallen world full of sin and destruction, but we have hope
because our King has sent His Son to save us. In my life, when I’ve turned to
God instead of my own humanly ways, He has shown me the good only He can bring
from the worst of situations.
This
passage in Romans has been a great inspiration to me that I constantly turn to
when life seems so overbearing that it’s hard to find the light. I hope it can
be a source of comfort and encouragement for you as well!
“Therefore, since we have been declared righteous by faith,
we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Also through Him, we have
obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in
the hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also rejoice in our
afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance
produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope does
not disappoint, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through
the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” –Romans 5:1-5
Also, if you have a few minutes, check out Scott Hamilton’s
testimony on “I am Second”. What an incredible man with an inspirational story!
http://www.iamsecond.com/seconds/scott-hamilton/
Thanks for this, Katie! So encouraging :)
ReplyDelete