living my dream: transitioning to a new semester

It’s hard to believe that we’re already three weeks into second semester. I was able to go back to the states for three weeks over Christmas break to spend the holidays with family and friends. Even though it was so busy and seemed to fly by, it provided much needed rejuvenation. I’m realizing that “home” seems to be a relative term these days. I know that Indy will always feel like home, but I was surprised at how much it felt like coming home when we landed in La Paz. It’s terrifying sometimes to feel like my heart is in two places, but I know it is so rewarding and a privilege to have such wonderful communities and people I love in both places.

            Even though I was excited to be back in La Paz, the transition was more difficult than I expected. Along with getting sick soon after I arrived, once again leaving my life and people I love in the States and adjusting to my life in Bolivia left me feeling a sense of loneliness. I felt caught between two communities, not fully immersed in either. However, last Sunday, I received a blessing in the form of a simple reminder during the sermon at church. We had the privilege of hearing from a guest speaker, a retired doctor who is serving in Bolivia and works for an organization which provides free health care to impoverished families in La Paz.  He was such an encouragement to me and one of his statements in particular had a major impact:

“You can’t do everything for everybody, but everyone can do something.”

            Since arriving back in La Paz, I have been putting so much pressure on myself to take advantage of the many wonderful opportunities I have here. I’ve had a crash course here in learning my boundaries and when I need to say no. After all, too much of a good thing can become a bad thing. It’s hard not to spread myself too thin, but I’m beginning to find a balance. I’ve made some changes to my schedule, so now I have our 11^th grade girls’ discipleship group on Mondays, Tuesday night Bible study with people in the community and from my church, Spanish lessons on Wednesdays, and tutoring a 7^th grade girl in English on Thursdays. I’m so thankful for all of these opportunities, but this quote was such a timely reminder as a new semester begins that my purpose and what God has called me to do here in Bolivia is to teach, serve, and love my kiddos and that it is ok that I can’t serve and be a part of all of the wonderful ministries and organizations that I would love to help with. We can all do something, and I’m so thankful that God has led me to La Paz to teach and minister to my wonderful group of students. What a blessing it is to follow God’s calling and serve where he’s planted me. I’ve found comfort in this and have a new found peace that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be for this chapter in my life and that my “home” and value is in Christ. When I start to look for this value and comfort in worldly things, that is when I begin to have that suffocating feeling of loneliness and doubt. It’s never been as evident to me as it has this past month that spiritual warfare in my life is so much more present now that I am a missionary and focusing my life to serve and follow God’s calling for me. This song, “Here’s my Heart” by David Crowder, has been such an encouragement and great reminder of where our faith and truth lies…in Christ alone. I hope it can be an encouragement for you as well. J

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3UxfvNbBx0

“Here's my heart Lord,

Here's my heart Lord

Here's my heart Lord,

Speak what is true

‘Cause I am found, I am Yours

I am loved, I'm made pure

I have life, I can breathe

I am healed, I am free

(Chorus)

Here's my heart Lord,

Here's my heart Lord

Here's my heart Lord,

Speak what is true

‘Cause I am found, I am Yours

I am loved, I'm made pure

I have life, I can breathe

I am healed, I am free

‘Cause You are strong, You are sure

You are life, You endure

You are good, always true

You are light breaking through

Here's my heart Lord,

Here's my heart Lord

Here's my heart Lord,

Speak what is true

Here's my life Lord,

Here's my life Lord

Here's my life Lord,

Speak what is true

Speak what is true

Speak what is true

I am found, I am Yours

I am loved, I'm made pure

I have life, I can breathe

I am healed, I am free

‘Cause You are strong, You are sure

You are life, You endure

You are good, always true

You are light breaking through

You are more than enough

You are here, You are love

You are hope, You are grace

You're all I have, You're everything”

There’s such joy knowing that I’ve followed God into the unknown…operating solely on faith and trusting in God’s perfect will and timing. As it says in Matthew 9:35-38, “Then Jesus went to all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and every sickness. When He saw the crowds, He felt compassion for them, because they were weary and worn out, like sheep without a shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, ‘The harvest is abundant, but the workers are few. Therefore, pray to the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest.’”