Faith

            Last week, a beautiful, loving woman of God went Home to be with her Savior. Vonda, my best friend’s grandmother, passed away due to a severe stroke followed by another stroke the next day. I called her “G”, just like her grandchildren, and she was like a grandma to me. Last Wednesday, upon hearing that she passed away, my emotions were everywhere. I was overwhelmed with feelings of immense helplessness, confusion, and sadness. I have never lost a loved one while being overseas, and the only way I can explain what I felt was an uncontrollable, suffocating feeling. For the first time, I felt stuck in Bolivia and wanted nothing more than to be home. Thankfully, my amazing roommates and mentor buddy were there for me to process with, pray with, and just be with me in silence when words just didn’t seem adequate to express what I was feeling.

            I first started to get to know G my freshman year of college when Alex and I lived on the same floor of Martin Hall at Anderson University. By junior year, she was like family to me. She knew I loved tennis and since she volunteered with NJTL (National Junior Tennis League) of Indianapolis, she put in a good word for me and I interviewed at the end of my sophomore year of college and got a job as a tennis instructor. I was an instructor with NJTL for four wonderful summers and was so blessed by that opportunity, the kids, and especially the people I met and worked with. I hope she knew how much I appreciated her help and taking time to introduce me to the wonderful NJTL organization/family.

            G was so incredibly spunky and full of life. There were no boundaries. She would ask me anything and we could talk about everything…I loved that. She would ask about school, work, family, and, of course, boys (and even tried to play matchmaker once)! She would even come cheer me on at my college tennis matches. When I went out to lunch/dinner with her, she never let me pay. She spoiled me and often had me laughing to the point of tears with her witty humor and hilarious comments. Even on the worst days, she could cheer me up with little effort.

            My Grandma El passed away last April 23^rd, almost a year to the day. That was one of the most difficult times for me. Having G in my life made a world of difference. She encouraged and loved me through that time and really became like an adopted grandma to me. I feel blessed for every minute I was able to spend with her. Grieving the loss of G has brought back the memories of losing my grandma last year. The most comforting thing during that time was the peace that came with knowing that she was Home with her Savior and no longer in pain. What a comfort we have that G is now at peace and with her Savior as well. Alex, I bet they’ll be good friends. J

            This past week, my faith has been tested, Grieving the loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult things in this world, but I’ve realized that grieving from a different continent 4,000 miles away really puts faith to the test. It brings about so many emotions. I feel beyond helpless that I can’t be at my best friend’s side grieving with her. I’m angry that I couldn’t go to the hospital and tell G I love her and how much she means to me and how much of a difference she’s made in my life. I’ve always been by Alex’s side when she had a family member in the hospital and it was the worst feeling that I couldn’t this time. When I found out that G had a 2^nd stroke and passed away soon after, I couldn’t comprehend it. All I wanted to do was hug Alex and be with the family and grieve WITH them, not 4,000 miles away. It was difficult to pray. I couldn’t make sense of anything, especially my emotions. Both of my wonderful roommates and mentor buddy surrounded me with endless love, encouragement, and prayed with me. While processing with them, I realized that I was really struggling with giving it all to God because I was putting guilt on myself for not being with Alex when she needed me most and also putting pressure on myself to do more that just pray. Unfortunately, distance and not as readily available communication made that impossible. I realized all I had and could rely on was faith. I had no choice but to accept that I could do nothing more than pray and give it ALL to God and relinquish all control/want of control of the situation. I wanted to be with Alex and her family at the hospital and viewing/funeral, I wanted to grieve with them, I wanted to be able to do more, but that was not in God’s plan. I know He’s called me here and this is where I need to be. Therefore, I need to love and grieve from here and have the faith it takes to truly believe and know in my heart that God’s love, comfort, and sovereignty are more than enough for Alex, Lisa, and the whole family, and enough to give me peace with being a continent away during this time. God continues to teach me the true meaning of faith, and I’m realizing that I’m receiving a crash course right now. Even though it’s hard to realize in the midst of such sadness and grief, what comfort we have in knowing that it is all in God’s hands and He will always carry us through the storms when we seek and call out to Him. He will never leave us.

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all" (Psalm 34:17-19 NIV)

We found this beautiful poem when Grandma El passed away. Alex and Lisa, I hope it is a source of comfort for you and for anyone who’s lost a loved one.

God's Garden

 "God looked around His garden

And He found an empty place

He then looked down upon the earth

And saw your precious face

He put His arms around you

And lifted you to rest;

God's Garden must be beautiful

He always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering

He knew you were in pain

He knew you'd never ever

Get well on earth again.

So He closed your weary eyelids

And whispered "Peace be thine"

Then He took you up to Heaven

With Hands so gentle and kind.

It broke our hearts to lose you

But you did not go alone,

For part of us went with you

The day God welcomed you home.”

Casa de Esperanza (House of Hope)

            Our week-long Easter break was April 14^th–18^th  and it worked out for my roommate, Jill, me, and some of our friends and youth from church to visit the Casa de Esperanza. The House of Hope is in a town called Caranavi, which is in the Amazon Basin and is about a five-hour drive from La Paz. The orphanage is an incredible ministry and at this time there are 67 children living there from ages 2 weeks to 18 years. There are 8 houses on the compound and each has around 8 or 9 children and 2 tias (aunts- which they call the 2 ladies who live in each house and care for the children). Missionaries from Holland founded the orphanage twenty-two years ago. It is now run by an amazing couple, Fidel and Charro. It was incredible to see how they treated each child like family. Charro told us that many of the kids who graduate come back for holidays to visit and that they are welcome back anytime because the Casa de Esperanza will always be their home.

            We arrived on Monday around 5pm. After settling in, a group of us went into town to eat dinner. The orphanage is located at the top of a mountain, so it is about a 30 minute drive from town. The view from the compound is just absolutely breathtaking. We rode in the back of the truck bed. There were metal bars and a plastic covering, so we rode standing up. It was a blast! Some of the memories I remember most clearly from different countries I’ve visited is riding the in back of trucks. I think it’s the adventure. J After a delicious dinner of pollo, papas fritas con mayonesa y ketchup, y platanos, we stopped by one of the tiendas to get some groceries and then headed back up the mountain. We stayed at a compound about a quarter of a mile down from the orphanage called the CEC. We had two rooms with bunk beds, bathrooms, and a kitchen. It was a really nice set-up. The CEC is where people stay who are taking training courses or Spanish classes.  We were the only people there last week though.

            On Tuesday, we went up to the orphanage early and Charro gave us a tour. We were able to visit some of the houses and see the other buildings. Then, we went to the main meeting area where meals are held and we got to meet the secretary, Veronica, and she had the newborn baby, Abigail Grace. I wasn’t sure if we would be able to hold her, but she gladly gave her to us to watch for about an hour. Abigail came to Casa de Esperanza when she was only 2 days old and was only 2 weeks old when we were there. Her mother was mentally/emotionally unfit to care for her. What a blessing that the orphanage received her so soon after her birth so she could be cared for adequately and properly nourished immediately. Then, one of the tias brought over the 3 month baby girl and Jill got to hold her. Before arriving at the orphanage, we joked about being perfectly content holding the babies all week, and we definitely got our wish that day. J  We ate lunch with all the kids and staff and then went to work. While the boys “mowed” the tall grass with machetes, we sanded doors to get them ready to be primed.

           

            On Wednesday morning, we finished sanding the doors.  After lunch, we rode down in the bus with the kids to the school.  There is one session of school in the morning and one in the afternoon. It is common for Bolivian schools to have two or even three sessions of school each day due to the large number of students.  On the way down the mountain, I was sitting next to three upper elementary aged boys. A Toby Mac CD was playing and each time a new song came on, they would ask me to translate. My initial reaction was to tell them that I didn’t know enough Spanish to translate, but then I decided to push myself and at least try. Even though I was nowhere near able to translate each line of the songs, I was able to explain the main meaning of the songs and that was enough for them. It was one of those moments where their eagerness to understand English and my determination to speak Spanish were driving forces to allow us to understand each other and communicate reasonably effective with such a major language barrier. After dropping the kids off, we were able to go to one of the tiendas to get some groceries and see more of the town of Caranavi. Then, we headed back up to the orphanage. That night, Linda and I went down in the truck with a large group of kids from the orphanage to go to town. The kids were going to a Bible study and we were going to town to pick up Pastor Dan and Dani from the bus station. We were so glad that they were able to join us mid-week! On the way down, while standing in the truck bed, one of the teenage girls, Raquel, asked me if I liked One Direction. I told her I had some of their music on my phone and we proceeded to play it and sing along with about 3 other girls. Never thought that could be such a bonding moment. J

            On Thursday, Jill, Linda, and I woke up early to catch the bus around 7 to head to school with the kids. The Christian school where the kids from the orphanage attend is called Vida y Verdad (Life and Truth). When the bell rang, all of the kids gathered in the courtyard/gym area. The school pastor said a prayer and then the students were dismissed orderly to class. So neat! The wonderful director, David Hiller, gave us a tour of the school. After the tour, I was able to help out in the kindergarten classroom. I felt right at home, even with the language barrier…kindergarteners are still kindergarteners even with cultural/language differences! I got to help the kids with the letter books they had made and when I would tell them what the pictures/words were in English, they just loved it! Then, the teacher asked us to introduce ourselves. It was fun to share about myself in Spanish. Next, we went to visit the pre-kinder classroom. They were eating their snack, so I got to visit with one of the teachers. We talked for about 20 minutes in Spanish. Our conversation made me realize that I really can understand and express thoughts in Spanish now (beyond the normal small talk). I apologized for my awful accent and she said, “No, es muy dulce” (No, it’s very sweet). Haha! Even though I have a long way to go, this trip was definitely a stepping stone in my journey to speaking Spanish well. Before heading back to the orphanage with the kids at 12:30, we were able to go on a little tour of Caranavi. It is a beautiful, quaint little town. After eating a lunch of liver, rice, and plantains at the orphanage, we went on a hike to a waterfall. We climbed up the waterfall to a little pool of water. The cold water felt so good on such a humid day in the jungle! Fidel and Charro invited us up to their home for dinner that night. We had delicious chicken, rice, and ensalada de papas (potato salad)! The whole family was there…they are just so wonderful! It was so fun to talk with them in Spanish. I expressed how badly I want to return to serve for a longer amount of time and take Spanish lessons at the CEC as well. I hope that wish can become a reality!  After dinner, we stayed up and made bracelets with a kit Jill had brought for the kids. Jill and I felt like one of the kids with Levi, “Billy”, and Kristen. J It never ceases to amaze me how closely people bond on mission trips like this.

            We headed home on Friday after lunch. After we ate, Charro called all of us up to pray for us. Even our driver, Julio, stood up with us as she prayed. We were truly blessed to have Julio drive us there and take us back home. He is such a positive, warm-hearted person with a contagious laugh. J It made the 5 hour drive so much more enjoyable! As we were heading toward the mini-bus, Raquel ran up to me and gave me a beautiful red and purple bracelet that she had made for me that morning. She tied it on my wrist and I told her that I loved it so much. Then, she said something to one of the tias, Lily, and Lily told me that Raquel said to tell me that she loved me. It just melted my heart and meant so much to me! It’s truly amazing that these incredible kiddos, who have overcome so much in their short lives, have so much love to give and readily show it! We got back to the parsonage around 6:00 and hadn’t quite had enough of each other. We all went out to dinner and then watched a movie together. It’s a blessing to feel like I have a “Bolivian” family here. J

            Looking back on this incredible week, it’s amazing how much I learned and grew. As the semester continued, I was beginning to feel like I was just going through the routine, but this trip kind of “woke me up”. It helped me put things back in perspective and gave me a renewed outlook on life in general, but also on my purpose here in Bolivia and why God has called me here.  I’m beyond thankful and feel so blessed for the opportunity to visit the orphanage, travel mercies all week, relationships formed at the orphanage, and relationships that now feel like family within our group. The children and their stories of redemption have forever touched my heart. Their stories of hope, faith, and overcoming impossible odds are truly inspiring.

“He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption…” -Colossians 1:13-14

The group that traveled on Monday! (Me, Jill, Kristen, Linda, Levi, William)

Traveling on the Camino de Muerte (Death Road) is always quite the adventure!

Riding in the back of the truck!

Holding the precious Abigail Grace! (2 weeks old)

Such a happy baby. :)

Sweet 3 month old baby girl!

My lunch friend. :)

Surprise hug!

We got to play soccer with the kids one night…I even scored a goal. :)

This little girl is an angel. Her mom sold her to a man at a bar when she was a baby for just two bottles of beer. She has a severe heart condition and child services told the orphanage that she would probably only live for a few months, but she has now been at the orphanage for over two years and is beating all odds…how incredible! She loved when I sang, so I just kept singing to her and she laid her head against my chest and cuddled in my lap. Words can't describe how she touched my heart. It's amazing how kids can just put things in perspective and teach us so much about life and loving others!

Sanding doors with my little helper, Ellie. :)

Riding the bus to town with the kiddos!

the school- Vida y Verdad (Life and Truth)

town square

Children meeting for a prayer before school.

The director of the school, David Hiller, and the school pastor.

gym class

Got to spend some time in the kindergarten room!

Making bracelets at midnight. :)

Our friend, Ariel!

Raquel and the beautiful bracelet she made for me!

 A Cholita woman washing clothes in the river in Caranavi.

Incredible view on our hike to the waterfall.

                                     Parrot who is the secretary's pet. He's a character!

    Julio stopped so we could enjoy this waterfall on the side of the mountain on our way to Caranavi!

This precious girl is 4 years old. She was found living in a pen in horrific living conditions. She was never taught how to walk or talk. She is making great progress at Casa de Esperanza and can now walk with support. They seem confident that she will be able to walk on her own eventually. It was amazing to see how happy she is now at the casa. What a blessing that God led her to such a loving home and family!

    Enjoying the waterfall…so much fun. :) Only about a mile and a half or 2 miles from the orphanage!

"Let It Go"

        Today I write with a burdened heart and spirit, but my hope is that by sharing my burden and how God is working in the midst of this pain, that you will be encouraged as well. At church this morning, the sermon was about letting go of the past: past hurts, bitterness, and anger. Over the past couple of weeks, for the first time in over a year, I was burdened with the pain and hurt of a time in my life that took me so long to heal from and that healing was only possible with support of family, friends, and only through God's healing hand and strength that comes only from Him when we cry out to him. As the sermon continued, I became overwhelmed with this bitterness and pain from the past that I had not relived in so long. It was such a suffocating feeling that things that were said and done to me years ago were all of a sudden gripping me with those feelings I haven't felt since that time in my life and I became terrified that those awful experiences in the past still seemed to suddenly have so much power and control over me again to the point of making me feeling physically sick. I knew God was convicting me through this sermon and that it was something that I really needed to hear, but I couldn't believe the extent to which it was affecting me.
       One of the verses shared this morning was Proverbs 14:30, "A tranquil heart is life to the body, but jealousy is rottenness to the bones." For me, it's not jealousy, but I struggle with the bitterness and anger that stems from painful words and events that I was succumbed to in my past. Harboring these feelings not only effects my mind, but can begin to eat away at me physically. I remember feeling sick to my stomach when I had to talk with this person and eventually even when I had to be in this person's presence. For those few years, I wasn't aware of the extent of this basically verbal/emotional abuse and manipulation that I had become a victim of. I felt like it was just something I had to endure until one day, I finally had the courage to break free of those chains and pain. It's incredible how manipulation and constantly being fed lies about who I was or how I needed to act began to brainwash me into thinking that something was wrong with me and that I was a horrible person that couldn't seem to say the right words or do the right things. Seeking this person's approval began to consume me and the enemy's foothold dug deeper and deeper. Now looking back, I believe that part of the brainwashing was largely in part due to my great need to please people and the fact that this person was a Christian, so I felt that it must be something wrong with me and I should of course respect and trust this person as a fellow Christian. I had never been succumbed to this kind of treatment and wickedness before, so I was lost in a web bewilderment and confusion. Everyone else at that time and throughout my whole life, had always told me only positive things about my character, values, personality, and the person I strived to be as a daughter in Christ through my accomplishments as well as my many flaws and mistakes. Therefore, it became almost a challenge to make this person see that I am a good person who strives to live a life pleasing to God. The thing I know, but had a difficult time accepting during that chapter in my life, was that some people simply have so much pain and unhappiness in their own lives, even if they seem to have it all together, and unfortunately can take that anger out on others around them in an attempt to make themselves feel better. I, unfortunately, had become a victim of this treatment. And at some point, it's no longer the words or events that happened in the past that are the issue, it's the bitterness and resentment that still engulfs us.
      Another passage discussed was Ephesians 4:31-32, "All bitterness, anger and wrath, insult and slander must be removed from you, along with all wickedness. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ." Forgiveness…such a simple word, but so difficult to fully execute in our lives. When I eventually broke free of this person's control in my life, I felt like justice would not be done if i simple forgave and said everything was fine. But after years of working through this and seeking God's wisdom on this issue, I've come to realize a few things about forgiveness. If I don't forgive the wrongs that were done to me, I will never be free of that person's control on my life. I am, in essence, still letting her "win". I am letting the hurt use up way too much of my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy. In this person's constant aggression and harshness, even though it took every ounce of control I could muster and constant prayer, I knew I couldn't respond in the same manner, but instead with patience and calm, kind words. The first time that I sensed that I was starting to retaliate back with similar harshness and aggression, I took a step back and vowed that I would not change what I stood for and who I was by reciprocating this immature, wicked behavior. Even though it goes against our humanly ways, God calls us to respond with love in a tender-hearted response. When I began this journey of forgiveness, one of the hardest things was giving up the right to get back at this person and seeking "justice", but in doing so, I gradually realized the freedom from the chains that had held me down for years. God's sovereignty in such painful situations as this is so evident when we are constantly in communication with Him and seeking his guidance. He can use our painful experiences for His glory and the good of His kingdom even when we can't see it at the time. Now looking back, through years on this journey of healing, forgiving, and growing, I can see how God uses my past experiences to empathize and share with others how I overcame this traumatizing experience.
       The final passage mentioned today was Romans 12:19-21, "Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord. But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good." My prayer for myself is to not be conquered by evil, but to conquer evil by doing good. Even though hurtful things said about me and, on occasion, even my family, I choose to give the anger to God in exchange for a peaceful hart. I am now determined to not let the hurt form my past poison my body, heart, and soul. One important part about forgiveness that I've come to learn is that forgiving does not mean that I become a mat to walk on. Saying I forgive the person who wronged me does not mean that I have to trust her or let her back in my life. It simple means that I choose to give that hurt and anger to God so that I can be free of the poison that resulted from all of the pain of the past. I became frustrated with myself that the pain I've already given to God came back to haunt me the past few weeks when I haven't thought about it in so long. As always, people from my amazing community here immediately surrounded me with love and encouragement when they could sense that something was eating at me. Through talking things out, I was reminded that forgiving and letting all of the pain go is a constant process. When I am overcome with the pain of the past, that is when I run to God and continue the healing process. Even though this process will probably never be complete since it is impossible to forget what has occurred, I've realized that it is teaching me that I can't do this on my own, God will never stop walking me through this, and each time I hit a low, it brings me that much closer to God and strengthens my relationship with Him.
       Thank you so much for sticking with me through this lengthy post. I hope that what God's shown me and continues to show me through this healing process will be an encouragement for you if you're struggling with past hurts that maybe seem to continue to have control over your life. I pray that God would give you peace as you continue to give that poison to Him.
       I just finished reading an amazing book called Unbroken. If you have not read it, I would HIGHLY recommend it. It is the true story of olympian Louie Zamperini and his experience as a POW in Japan during WWII. This quote from the book refers to Louie's satanic treatment during his nearly three years as a POW and occurs a few years after the war when he accepts Christ, "Resting in the shade and the stillness, Louie felt profound peace. When he thought of his history, what resonated with him now was not all that he had suffered but the divine love that he believed had intervened to save him. He was not the worthless, broken, forsaken man that the Bird had striven to make of him. In a single, silent moment, his rage, his fear, his humiliation and helplessness, had fallen away. That morning, he believed, he was a new creation." What an encouragement that if a man, who was brutally abused physically as well as told lies and verbally beaten down to the point of feeling completely dehumanized and worthless, can forgive his captors, we don't have to be shackled by past pains and abuses either. What an amazing testament to God's goodness and love for us.

       I pray, that as the body of Christ, Christians will come alongside each other and build each other up instead of tearing each other down. What an amazing thought of what this world would be like and what could be accomplished if our selfish wants and humanly ways were pushed aside and we chose daily to live as Christ calls us to live. I hadn't heard this Hymn in years, but it struck home this morning. Here are the lyrics to "They Will Know We are Christians By Our Love":

"We are one in the Spirit
We are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit
We are one in the Lord

And we pray that our unity may one day be restored
And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
Yeah, they'll know we are Christians by our love

We will work with each other
We will work side by side
We will work with each other
We will work side by side

And we'll guard each man's dignity and save each man's pride
And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
Yeah, they'll know we are Christians by our love, our love"

"Why?"

            On Mondays, my roommate, Jill, and I lead an 11^th grade girls’ discipleship group. Our last study was incredible. The girls had great questions, which led to in-depth discussions. One such question was, “Why do bad things happen?” Throughout my life, this question of “Why?” has often crept into my mind. Such a simple, one-word question, yet so complex and can begin to spread like poison in our minds if we let it. When this question was asked, I felt my heart begin to beat a little faster and felt led to share my experiences and struggles with this question and let God speak through me. This question has occupied my mind many times:

“Why was I born with three fingers and a frozen elbow on my right arm?”

“Why did I have to go through my childhood constantly being made fun of, stared at, and having to question how some people could be so insensitive and sometimes even cruel?”

“Why did my five year relationship with my “high school sweetheart” have to end in such a heartbreaking, unnecessarily painful way?”

“Why was my dad diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and had to endure two rounds of chemotherapy?”

 “Why did my grandmother pass away so suddenly last April?”

            I’ve learned that, if permitted, this simple question can fester in our minds and eventually begin to harden our hearts.

            My Creator, my Comforter, my Savior, has always, is always, and will always be the answer to this often times poisonous question. When I enter the valley of darkness that this question can lead me to, God simply takes my hand and with such patience, faithfulness, and love, leads me back to the light of His presence where I find comfort, peace, and shelter from the questions and insecurity that stem from dwelling on this simple, three letter word which the enemy so desperately wants me to dwell on so I become blind to the blessings and wonders all around me.

            But God has had and continues to have an amazing, divine plan for my life as He does for all of us. He has conditioned me to simply trust in His holy plan, especially through the darkest of valleys, because that is when he has truly molded and shaped me into the person I am today with a heart to follow Him. Our Heavenly Father meets us in the darkest places, in our sin, and in our questioning & doubts. I recently read an article from “Beliefs of the Heart” (http://beliefsoftheheart.com/2013/07/23/i-wonder-if-sunday-school-is-destroying-our-kids-2/) and this part of the article articulated the wonder of the gospel beautifully: “The wonder of the gospel is not the love of the beautiful; it’s when Beauty kisses the Beast. The Beast isn’t loved because he has changed; the Beast is changed when he is loved. Joy doesn’t come when he’s loved for his beauty; joy overwhelms him when he is loved in his hideousness.”

            Through God’s Word and my relationship with Him, my eyes have been opened to the blessings that have come from these dark places. My dad’s utter faith and positive attitude through his nearly ten-year battle with cancer has made such an incredible impact and inspired all those around him and those he comes in contact with. My Grandma El lived such a long, wonderful life loving those around her and serving her Lord. Just as in life, she impacted and continues to inspire so many with her story even as she left her earthly life to go Home.  What a blessing it is that she is no longer in pain, but is rejoicing and dancing in Heaven with her Savior. Through such heartbreak and pain that ending a five year relationship brings, especially under difficult circumstances, I rejoice in the ending of that chapter of my life because it taught me so much and with its end, I became fully free to follow God’s will in my life, which has led me to this amazing journey here in La Paz!

Lastly, the blessings that have stemmed from such a seemingly horrible thing as being born with a “deformed” arm continue to amaze me daily. When I was in kindergarten, I came home from school one day in tears because some older kids were making fun of my arm. My dad looked at me and simply said, “Kate, God made you like this for a reason and one day you will understand why.” Those words never left me and now I can fully understand the truth behind them. When people ask me about my arm, the thing I want them to understand is that I don’t view it as a burden, but a blessing. It has taught me how to love ALL people with great empathy, compassion, and love. It has made me a person with such determination that I refuse to let anything hold me back or to be told that something isn’t possible. I am able to help my students learn that we are all unique and how to treat people who look “different”. At the beginning of the year, I show a clip from Finding Nemo when Nemo’s friends ask him why he has a little fin. Then, they go on to point out something that’s different about themselves. I love how my students begin to think of my arm as “normal” and get upset when other students say that my arm looks weird. It’s amazing how God can use my arm to help not only my kiddos, but also all those around me learn how to truly accept people, differences and all!

            So, with all that said, I don’t have the answer to the question “Why do bad things happen?” and I don’t think I ever will until I meet my Maker. What I do know is that we live in a fallen world full of sin and destruction, but we have hope because our King has sent His Son to save us. In my life, when I’ve turned to God instead of my own humanly ways, He has shown me the good only He can bring from the worst of situations.

            This passage in Romans has been a great inspiration to me that I constantly turn to when life seems so overbearing that it’s hard to find the light. I hope it can be a source of comfort and encouragement for you as well!

“Therefore, since we have been declared righteous by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Also through Him, we have obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope does not disappoint, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” –Romans 5:1-5

Also, if you have a few minutes, check out Scott Hamilton’s testimony on “I am Second”. What an incredible man with an inspirational story! http://www.iamsecond.com/seconds/scott-hamilton/